Let It Begin!

So it happened...I caved in...I got A BLOG!
I have fought this desire for a long time because of this thought process:

"Don't do it Smeds! Its going to end up like the time you 

discovered Pinterest or Jimmy Fallon videos on Youtube or Gillmore girls!"

You all know what I mean. When you discover something you love on the internet and BAM! You look up from the screen and look around wondering what year is it? Then you keep coming back! If you say you don't understand you are wrong and lying to yourself. 

I tried to tell myself it would be different as I started this blog but here we are I spent a good amount of the day getting this thing set up and now here I am at 11:30  at night writing a blog post. 

enough about my addictions on the internet...

Why Did I start this Blog?

Because I started Crying during a Cartoon.

Yes.

That is why this blog exists.

I am not Ashamed.

So it was a completely miserable night after a very long and hard week for me. So I was watching Bolt, in my cocoon of blankets, and shoving my mouth full of guacamole flavored chips. Then Rhino gave his inspirational speech and I just started bawling. Not like a few tears. I was hard core crying. 

Ok, not one of my shinning moments...

"You! You CAN, Bolt, because all over this planet, there are animals who feel like they can't. Like a little hamster who once spent his days in an RV park, dreaming of the day when he, too, would save a little girl from danger and be told: 'You did it. You did it, Rhino! You saved the day.' "

I don't know why I started to cry so hard at this point. Just a rough day mostly, but the next day I had a conversation with my cousin about life and I realized how much it meant to me to have someone understand how I felt and where I was coming from. I thought about the simple sentence: "there are animals who feel like they can't."

Weird thought to start thinking all philosophically but there is my mind for you. But really I think everyone struggles a lot in life and they doubt that they can do it. We all need someone who understands and listens to what is hurting them. We need to know that others feel what we feel and we are not alone. 

So I wanted to write a blog about my experiences and my journey to learn to love my self and to find happiness. A journey that we are all on together and something I know I am not alone when I say that I struggle with each day. 

I choose a carousel because I am obsessed with them. They are beautiful. Each horse is different and unique. It has become sort of a symbol of my happiness.

The other day I found this picture of a weathered horse. It is a spectacular piece of photography and the horse is gorgeous.

The chips and cuts don't take away from the horse. Rather it adds to the beauty. A trial overcome molds us into something more than we were before if we have the eyes to see it.

Life is learning to Love ourselves and find that there is beauty in our physical and mental scars